When you're a little kid, you're a little bit of everything. Artist, scientist, athlete, scholar... Sometimes it seems like growing up is the process of giving those things up. One by one. I guess we all have one thing we regret giving up. One thing we really miss. That we gave up because we were too lazy or, we couldn't stick it out or, because we were afraid.
-The Wonder Years
This quote has got me thinking. When I was younger, I was good at everything...seriously. Now, I feel like I'm just, here...slowly wasting away. I used to be a really great artist. But after high school I don't think I picked up another paintbrush. Do talents like that fade? One time I tried to explain to a colleague why I didn't pursue a career in something more creative. Basically, it was because I was scared. Scared of failing in something I cared a lot about. So I chose something I knew I could do. That's terrible right?
I think I'm going through a quarter life crisis.
2 comments:
I feel the same way. I used to be good at a number of things. Even now, I feel like there are a bunch of things that I’m good at…I have yet to find something I’m GREAT at. I’m told that I’m a bit to ambitious; I’m revisiting my days of the flute, trying to learn to play the piano, singing in the choir, tutoring, dancing, teaching dance and whatever else I can get my hands on. I just want to find my niche. I gave up doing a number of things because of my fear of failure and now it appears that it is that fear that drives me now. I’ve discovered lately that what if I’m not meant to be the next Mozart or Picasso? What if my niche is to be the good person, the good friend, the good girlfriend and the good listener that I am. God had given us so many gifts. Let’s not sacrifice them, in pursuit of something else. By being good at a lot of things, maybe we have fulfilled our purpose. In Matthew chapter 25, God gives one man five talents, another man two talents, and the last man one talent. The man with one talent went off and buried his while the others had doubled their talents. God was pleased with them because they had been diligent and had put in the work to garner more talents. Is this not what we should do? Let’s recapture our dreams while we’re still young!
What is fear but the mind telling the body that it cant. You know me, I go out on a limb pretty much as often as other people search for a bit of stability in their lives. But fear does haunt me, and perhaps that is what drives me as well, as tionya mentioned. Fear drives me to not make the same mistake twice. Whether that mistake be putting down the brush regardless of my talents, or foolishly asking for the hand of the one in my heart over the phone in a random country, fear drives us to act irrational in otherwise rational moments.
If your heart says you can sing, by all means sing. If it says be safe, then by God be safe.
But dont let the fear consume you. Be wild. Be free. Allow yourself to make mistake. Be vulnerable.
Live.
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