Emotional Baggage

It's been exactly almost exactly two years since my last relationship. Do I care? No. I moved on a long time ago. Plus, I love going on dates, meeting new people, having a reason to dress up, and being completely selfish. I love that feeling of liking someone, and finding out they like you back. I also love the notion of LOVE. But why am I finding so hard to love someone back again?

Anyone that knows me knows that I am completely infatuated with a guy in the beginning. But approximately 3 months or so into the "getting to know you" process I'm looking for a way out. It's as if somewhere in the process a sense of heaviness sits on me. It overwhelms me. Am I ready to open myself up to someone new? Am I ready to care again? I've been contemplating this for awhile, but I think I know why. I have emotional BAGGAGE. It doesn't start weighing on me until I feel myself getting close to someone. It's like I'm dragging luggage through the airport, and it's easier to just drop it than continue on. Don't get me wrong, I love myself and I'm a stronger person since that last relationship. But I've denied for a long time that maybe it did leave me somewhat scarred.

When does this feeling go away I wonder? Have I just not met the right person that makes me want to tredge the distance? Or is it something I have to face myself before starting something new?

Jayonce

So looks like the hip hop couple finally decided to tie the knot last night. Good for them. Although I seem to have a love/hate relationship with Beyonce (more love than hate), I like them together. Would she have been with him if he wasn't a mogul? Probably not. But I can't fault her for that. She's pretty and damn good entertainer. "Dangerously in Love" is probably one of my favorite modern love songs. They've been dating since 2002 so it seems about time right? I've always been impressed with the way they've been able to stay mum about their relationship. Must work...other celebrities should take note.

Cheers to Jayonce!